All I Want For Christmas...

Every year during Christmas, I dream of going to church together with my whole family and this is the dream I will hold on to dearly every year. Many people will ask Christians why are you all so eager to bring people to know God? Do we even have a commission for it? Honestly, no, in fact, we get rejected most times but I admired those that pressed on especially those that go all the way to explain to strangers door to door. I dun have such courage and honestly, I do not bother if it's not my loved ones or friends. Call it selfish but I am not courageous enough for it which is a wrong mindset...

Many times I could simply ignore the fact because I know that I believed in Him and I have a place in Heaven. More over, in Heaven, we will not remember our loved ones anymore so I can be selfish and care only for my own. But that's the whole thing that made me very sad too. Knowing that at this point of time when I can help my loved ones and friends, I tried my best to share especially to my beloved husband and parents. Anyway, it's really not up to me to touch their hearts. It is the job of the Lord. I used to think negatively about Christianity too. So I understand what is going through their mind. Why Christians must ask us to go church ah? Why they also act so evil at times ah? Anyway to be honest, Christians are just human like any one of us. The exact reason why we need God to cleanse us up for we cannot turn good alone. Imagine killing someone and go tell the judge that I am sorry. In real life, we know that sorry in that case is not use. Just like now, being regretful for all the things we have done hoping to go Heaven is just like telling the Judge we are sorry.

And the reason for asking people to church is because we do not want our loved ones to be left behind... To be honest, one day, all of us will die, there must be a place our soul will go and who doesn't want it to be heaven? At times, thinking about my deceased grandfather, I felt sad that he did not even have a chance to know God and he must be in a place everyone dreaded most...

My turning point came when something happened years ago. Of cos, many times, it was during these weaker moments that you get into desperate measures and you start praying to every thing you think that can help you. I did that! However, when I had the solution, I simply termed it as coincident. But after dozens of coincident, I know that there must be some truth to these. After hearing so much from others and tallying the accounts in the bible, things started to get clearer each time. Ever since, whenever I am down or with difficulties, I know I am never alone again. I never fear death honestly. I only fear for my loved ones after my death should it happen...

Anyway, every Xmas, I get very emotional. I see happy families attending churches together and I really look forward to the day that is reserved for my own family. Till then, all I want for Xmas is really just for my loved ones to believe, believe in Him.