Learn As I Teach

I have gotten a class with many challenges and behavioural issue this year. I was told that the management was debating if a beginning teacher like me should be given such a class. In the end, my principal said I could manage. I do not know why, out of nowhere, I was deemed to be fierce by a few in the school which I know my friends would disagree. I have to say that I am very different when I am in classroom settings though. Anyway, this was a bunch of Primary 3. When I first entered the school, many teachers were saying 'Good Luck' to me, making me feel fearful and I was having alot of negative thoughts, even doubting my abilities. But I told myself I have to see for myself to believe it.

Others have a bad impression of this class and my principal will walk in every now and then to 'counsel' this class last term because there were a few notorious ones in here. I have a few trouble makers, three special needs and one with extreme anger management. Was told that he tried to kick a table and chair towards a teacher last term. In Beacon, my worst experience was Javier and there was only ONE Javier in class! Now I have a handful, not to mention that the learning abilities of pupils in this class were as diverse as heaven and earth. I have super sensible A graders, versus, troubled U graders. In the end, I made a torn decision that I have to cater to the mass in the class and my U graders have drifted even further. They will never catch up. The problem about them is they have no parental guidance at home and my hands are tied. There are only so  much that I can cater for them. I am not a private tutor. I have no means to save everyone. I realised I have to have this mentality or it's very draining for me and I do feel a big stone on my shoulder. After speaking to the previous form teacher who has been giving them remedial with no improvements, I decided to concentrate more on those at-risk and abandon a few lost sheep. So cruel is the educational system at times...

The first week in school, I entered the class with a poker face. No nonsense and scolding people for every little thing. I may sound like a witch but I guess it really helps me a long way. After 4 weeks, I see my fruits of labour and whoever told me that my class is the worst lot is because you did not interact with them enough! It wasn't as bad I thought! If I had allowed negativity to engulf me earlier on, I think self fulfilling prophecy might have set in. Just yesterday as we celebrated the Racial Harmony Day, a parent volunteer who has no prior knowledge of the class told me, "Teacher, your class is the best I've seen so far today". I was really delighted!