Marriage Preparation Programme

Ben and I are believers of marriage courses and so we went to sign up for a group programme with Care Corner Counseling. we are so glad that we went for it. Of course, going for such courses do not guarantee happy fairy tale marriage but many potential conflict issues started to surface even before we are aware of it. Now we shall learn to avoid it. =)

It was a very good sharing because among the 5 couples, 1 was married and they shed some lights to the problems they had encounter through the 5 months marriage. We went through topics like communication, conflict management, in-law relationship, family of origin (really plays a part in the values and upbringing of your spouses), financial management and intimacy.

I love the part on In-laws and conflict management because I realised that Ben's way of solving comflict is so different from mine which I always intepret as 'heck-care' and defensive. However it seem that all of us have a few different ways of handling conflict. Ben is called the peace maker person and I'm more of a blamer. =p Also, the course brought up some issues that I never had the opportunity to bring it up because it might be sensitive to him. So in the discussion, everyone just shared freely and I think I can handle the in-laws better and he could do the same to my parents now! =) Anyway the course teaches us who and how to talk to your in-laws in terms of child management, house management etc. Eg: If your child misbehaves at the in-law place, who should take the discipline to lower the chance of conflict with the in-laws. Should you give in-laws the key to your home? Anyway, Ben said he might consider to call my parents once a week in future to just ask how are they. hehehe..

In the past, I used to tell him about some issues but he will give me the standard politically right answers to it. But after yesterday, he pondered on all the things I told him last time and understood where I'm coming from and why I'm making such statements. See... last time I talk about it, it seems like it's nothing important but because the counsellor talked about it, he thinks it makes sense! Hahaha.. But whatever it is, so long he got the points, I'm glad already =)

We are left with the last session, an individual session with the counsellor to analysize our family of origins, habits, personality etc. Those who are toying with the idea of going or not going, just go... it's all worth it really.