My Reflections

It is coming to the end of a school year soon and after being an educator for close to 9 months, I learnt many things from the children. Each of them is so sincere and real, I just find myself loving them again despite throwing them out of class again and again every lesson. =)

In life, we all understand that hard works pay off but we never know when we will see the fruits of our labour. As an adult, we will motivate ourselves with this but as children, I dunno if they understand such logic at this age. I started off as a co-form teacher with one of the poorest cohort in the Primary 2. I have many failures and many just barely make it. I taught them English. On the other hand, I was given one of the best class to teach Maths.

I used to love going in to my Maths lesson because teaching those smarter kids are so much easier and I see the fruits of my labour faster. Going in for English lesson to my form class was literally a drag and I prayed silently that the principal would change this class away. I saw teachers shouting at them again and again but they are still as wildful.

As months passed, I began to understand them better. As the chinese saying goes, this class 'eat soft and not hard'. I realised that talking nicely to them will allow me to get the tasks done faster. On the other hand, the pupils in my Maths class needs alot of shoutings. Both are Primary 2s but need different class management methods. In addition, I started to appreciate my form class. Although they are weaker lots academically but their behaviour wise were much better than those from my best class. The students in the best class were more arrogant and overly confident. They have brains but are more mischevious.

Just few days ago, all the results came back and I was almost in tears when I saw the results of my form class. Indeed after all the naggings and hard work, their efforts were paid off. Instead of being the last class of the cohort, they became the first! Although the top students were not from my class, everyone has improved so much that the whole average were pulled up tremandously. On the other hand, I had a great dissappointment upon seeing the results of my Maths class. The whole average fell greatly too. The top two students in my class were not even in the top 5 list anymore. They were too comtemplated and thought that they can surely do well. Before the exams, they were always telling me things like "it's so easy, I can get full marks etc". They usually make alot of noise when I teach saying that they already knew the concepts. So the top students came crying and crushed when they knew they did not do well. I hope they really learnt their lessons well. It's still not late at all.

These two classes are the reflection of the adults in the working world. Most times we think we know it all and do not take feedbacks seriously just because we know the issues/topics so well. When the project fails, we realised that we were too overly confident of ourselves. We know that hard works pay too but how many of us are actually patient enough to see the results and prefer taking shortcuts? How many of us actually get a chance to rise to the very top when we started at the very bottom. Indeed such opportunities are rare but seeing this happening in my form class makes me feel that it is really possible to do so.

I hope I've found the meaning of work satisfaction now because I realised that a simple thank you from the students makes me feel very appreciated as compared to a 'Good job' from my past bosses. In the past, I would claim every single thing if possible. I told myself that I will never use my money to pay for company expenses, even a 50cents ERP charges or a $1 carpark coupon. Even when the claiming processes are tedious, I would still do so. Now in the school, I spend my money every now and then for the children. I buy them pencils, stickers, erasers, snacks and whenever I see cute stuffs around, I have the impulse to get it for the kids. Ben is saying that I have no obligation to do that as all these cannot be claimed but I felt that it was worth it. =)

Today when I was about to go home, a group of my students came to me asking me to lunch with them. Despite being sick of the food in school, I agreed and they were overjoyed. They prepared a special seat for me so that they can surround me. They talked about innocent things, asking about my life. They said they love me so much and would like my autographs. As silly as it sounded but it really melts my heart. I offered to buy drinks for them but none of them wanted it citing that I should save the money up and not use it on them. I insisted and got them some Yakult and children being children, they grabbed it immediately and were so elated despite saying no persistently when I offered to buy it. Some even wanted to pay me back. You know, even a 70cents Yakult can make someone so happy so it's totally worth it. As we get into the adult world, people take it for granted even if you buy them a meal. Every child is really a learning point. It allowed me to take a step back to look at life in the most innocent light. =D