????

I can't even put a title for this because I simply do not know what and how I'm feeling. I'm not down, I'm not unhappy. But I just feel that something is missing in my life yet I can't put a thumb into it.

I'm just not satisfied? Not contented?

I mean I've got great family, wonderful boyfriend, superb friends, easy job (at this moment), happy dog... ... What else can I ask for?

Life is so routine now. Boring in fact. It's all about work and work. Everyone cant do without a job yet it's so difficult to really find out deep inside what we are passionate about. What keeps me going is the urge to save up for something bigger in life, be it to travel or marriage, house or a car.

Btw, this is my 3rd week at work. time just flew. I dun even know what was I doing the past two weeks. Wasting my life away since there were nothing much to do. This week is slightly better. A little work which can be done in 1 hour, I can take the whole day to finish it because if it is done too soon, I will stare into the space again. Lolx.. yes, the pace is THAT slow. Totally alien, totally different from where I used to be. Feeling useless at times since I'm under-used.

Anyway, I got to hear some winds about one of my friend. I do not know why he changed his mind on something but dared not tell me about it. Although everything is not confirmed but I feel irritated to hear it from someone else instead. If that is the case, why seek my help in the first place? Now that I'm ready and in the mood to help, I heard that you can do it urself without me just because of some silly reason which is such an unfair statement. Perhaps because it is a close fren so I'm a little edgy. Anyway, I do not want to bring names as he might be reading this. I'm not sure though since I've not given him this link before. Perhaps he does not even know what is happening since I should not be the one hearing this. Nothing serious~~ I will get over it~~

First Week At New Place

You know sometimes I really feel that life is really a dilemma. When we have a job we complain, no job, we complain. When we are busy with our job, we complain, too free also complain.. lolx.. or is it me only?

Anyway, life at Fuji Xerox is a breeze. A super breeze because I simply have nothing to do and you know when ones get too free, time is sickeningly hard to pass. Oh well, perhaps it's really week 1 so it's still some honeymoon period. Nevertheless, I expected to do some simple administrative work even on week 1 or to clear whatever the predecessor had left over but nope, simply NOTHING to do. No admin work, no left over jobs. So there I am, sitting there at my table... watching people... day dreaming... reading catalogues (staring at them actually without anything going into my head)... struggling to open my eyes... I wanted to surf the net but it's really not good to do that during the first week. Btw, I cannot MSN or check personal emails in the new place becos they are using intranet so some sites like those mentioned above and facebook, friendster and of cos, porns are disallowed. To stop wasting my life away sitting there, I signed up for a flat fee of $5 for MSN on my mobile. Lolx... This will help to kill some time I hope.

Anyway, first day was ok. Orientation so the day was well spent. Tuesday was terrible because my laptop was not ready and I simply sit on my desk to day dream and reading those technical catalogues for about 7 hours. When time is up, people are still struggling in office and I simply walk off on time daily.

I asked my colleagues and boss if there were anything I could help. Not that I did not initiate it but they either said 'later' and 'wait' after which, the whole day just passed without passing any jobs to me.

Boss said they are all busy rushing a report so they cannot teach me now. No time to even brief me on anything? To let me help? To let me do simple work? Hmmm.... I felt useless and under-used.

However, I must say that people here are friendly and nice. Although I still miss my ex-colleagues alot but I also know such friends will not exist in this office.

Anyway, tomorrow is the second week. I sure hope that more stuffs will start to roll in. At least time will pass faster. =)